...in a couple of ways. First, I'm just not in the holiday spirit this year. Haven't been since Halloween. I am deeply thankful I got to see most of my family over these holidays, but the rest of it just wasn't on my radar. I've got unopened presents, which I will stretch out over the rest of Hannukah (thanks Mom!) and a half-dozen Christmas cards to reply to. I didn't send out any of my own this year. I'd love to brag about having participated in a marathon and my performance at Staten Island... but that's about the only reason to write an end-of-year letter and I think that falls under the "pride" part of the seven deadly sins.
The other mood I'm not in is a running mood. I've been dropping/reducing several runs lately and have begun to feel like my depressed lung function is just an excuse - that I could tough it out if I tried. And I will, I suppose. I'm skipping today's workout, as I really didn't want to face rain this morning, but have only two things planned for tomorrow: Salvaging what tools I can from an unintentionally water-logged toolbox and a slow run of at least eight miles. I realize that winter has this effect on a lot of runners, but I was much more gung-ho last winter.
I'm looking foward to Emerald Nuts Midnight run; hopefully the party and short workout will snap me out of this winter funk.
December 29, 2005
December 28, 2005
I am a monkey's uncle
Well, I didn't do a long run this last weekend. I did about half. My sister took me to Forest Park in St. Louis and we did the asphalt/gravel trail there, about 5.5 miles we think. I had a good first couple of miles, but really had to fight in the third mile. the last couple got progressively better and better and I finished feeling strong, knowing my legs could keep going, but my lungs were once again the weakest link. I had to walk three or four times, though not far each time. I guess Rachel got a very up-close idea of what my runs are like.
Two days later, we went to a converted trail that runs behind Grants Museum and Grants Farm. This is a long, straight, flat trail. I only stopped to walk once, and even that was merely a pause. We only did about four miles, but the quality of that workout made up for the lack of quantity. The first couple miles went fairly smoothly, if slow, and I ran the last mile and a half very well, even picking up a couple of strides. Again, I don't think my lungs would have held out for more than another couple of miles, but the legs are feeling good.
The biggest bright point was that my sister took my little nephew (the monkey in question) with us in the jogging stroller. She doesn't often take him with her on her runs, as the stroller really slows her down and is quite difficult, she says, but I think it was a treat for my nephew and myself. He sat quiet and behaved until we turned around, when he decided he wanted to run with us - or more to the point, me. I have to admit, he might have the makings of a runner when he gets older. He ran nine or ten small sections, with little walks in between, probably a quarter-mile or more. And not slowly, either. I was jogging slowly and he was keeping up on those little legs! My sis and I finally realized, though, that this stop-and-go would keep continuing unless we could get him back in the stroller and the only way to do that was for me to run on ahead. So I did, and my sister, with nephew in the stroller, chased me about twenty yards behinds for the rest of the run.
He's cute at this age and yes, he can climb like a monkey. (click for bigger)
Got to get back on the schedule. Got to get serious about this training. May have to revise the long runs schedule, though, to more accurately reflect what I can do right NOW.
Reviews:
Nathan Sports Quickdraw Plus Bottle (and holder): this is OK. The holder is great! Fits my RAZR perfectly. Fits around the hand very nicely; adjustable strap; reflective bits. The BOTTLE is garbage. As a holder, I highly recommend. But do yourself a favor and leave the bottle in the store; it's not worth carrying home. (Details: rubber cap is bite-friendly, but the seal is for crap.)
(similar product as...) New Balance dri-fit long-sleeve, half-zip, collared training top. Mine's in orange and grey. Awesome piece of clothing!
Ultima replenisher sports drink mix: Not bad. Packaging looks like something you wash clothes with, not drink, but the ingredients seem good. Strong flavor, but more palatable than Gatorade and less sweet than HEED.
Two days later, we went to a converted trail that runs behind Grants Museum and Grants Farm. This is a long, straight, flat trail. I only stopped to walk once, and even that was merely a pause. We only did about four miles, but the quality of that workout made up for the lack of quantity. The first couple miles went fairly smoothly, if slow, and I ran the last mile and a half very well, even picking up a couple of strides. Again, I don't think my lungs would have held out for more than another couple of miles, but the legs are feeling good.
The biggest bright point was that my sister took my little nephew (the monkey in question) with us in the jogging stroller. She doesn't often take him with her on her runs, as the stroller really slows her down and is quite difficult, she says, but I think it was a treat for my nephew and myself. He sat quiet and behaved until we turned around, when he decided he wanted to run with us - or more to the point, me. I have to admit, he might have the makings of a runner when he gets older. He ran nine or ten small sections, with little walks in between, probably a quarter-mile or more. And not slowly, either. I was jogging slowly and he was keeping up on those little legs! My sis and I finally realized, though, that this stop-and-go would keep continuing unless we could get him back in the stroller and the only way to do that was for me to run on ahead. So I did, and my sister, with nephew in the stroller, chased me about twenty yards behinds for the rest of the run.
He's cute at this age and yes, he can climb like a monkey. (click for bigger)
Got to get back on the schedule. Got to get serious about this training. May have to revise the long runs schedule, though, to more accurately reflect what I can do right NOW.
Reviews:
Nathan Sports Quickdraw Plus Bottle (and holder): this is OK. The holder is great! Fits my RAZR perfectly. Fits around the hand very nicely; adjustable strap; reflective bits. The BOTTLE is garbage. As a holder, I highly recommend. But do yourself a favor and leave the bottle in the store; it's not worth carrying home. (Details: rubber cap is bite-friendly, but the seal is for crap.)
(similar product as...) New Balance dri-fit long-sleeve, half-zip, collared training top. Mine's in orange and grey. Awesome piece of clothing!
Ultima replenisher sports drink mix: Not bad. Packaging looks like something you wash clothes with, not drink, but the ingredients seem good. Strong flavor, but more palatable than Gatorade and less sweet than HEED.
December 22, 2005
I am a mountain man
Today was a short, hard, hill workout.
I spent yesterday feeling the burn from my newfound mode of commuting, and traveling to St. Louis. After missing two flights due (more or less) to the transit strike, I finally got on a late flight towards St. Louis that connected in Atlanta. Twelve hours of travel for three actual flight hours, pitiful. Long story, short: the TWU has no idea what kind of ripple effects this strike is having. [One of the elements of me traveling by air is that I can check my suitcase, but must carry with me anything I can't afford to be without for a week, in case that suitcase gets lost. This means I had two carry-ons with me: my running bag filled with medicines and back-up nebulizer, and my Vest, which is about 25 or 30 pounds. The attendants required numerous and lengthy explanations about all of this and why I wouldn't let them be checked, even on the tarmac. They eventually understood, though. :) ]
Anyway, arrived at my sister's and was up pretty late, even had a beer last night. (For what it's worth: Bud Select ain't half bad. It ain't Guinness, but it ain't horse piss either.) In the course of things, I forgot my dosage of Levaquin and completely skipped therapy, which I'm paying for today.
Woke up after a long, deep sleep feeling rested and ready for a four- or five-miler. The soreness of the bicycling is gone and my legs aren't as tight as they were yesterday. However, I am massively dehydrated and am having to play catchup with medicines and therapies. My urine was very dark and my sputum - while coming up without too much effort - is plentiful and very thick. Well, I'll get back on the regular schedule and keep at it.
Heading out from my sister's house, I realized just how hilly the area is. She lives up on top of a hill (perhaps 200 yards), accessible only by a culd-de-sac. That cul-de-sac connects to a lane at the bottom of the hill. That junction is at the bottom of more hills, either way you turn. I chose to go to the right and managed to keep running all the way up to the top - probably a third mile or more. And while I've tackled long hills before of a mile in length - they were gentle or medium grades. My sister's neighborhood is built like San Francisco and the hills are STEEP. I remember having to really gun my motorcycle up the hills on my last visit - very rare.
Anyway, this kind of rapid elevation change is unique to me: I've only encountered such hills on a few short trails in Central and Prospect Park - they don't have this kind of distance to them. (If this is what my sister starts her runs on, she's going to positively laugh at the hills in the NY Marathon!) I chose to do hill repeats, rather than the five-miler; I won't get this opportunity often. I went up the hill at a hard, though not all-out, pace each time, concentrating on keeping a steady speed and not slowing. I jogged back down as slow as the hills would let me, experiencing some real pull for the first time. I can see why one needs to train for downhills as much as uphills!
So a 2x repeat and a half-hour of stretching and three large glasses of water later, I'm feeling pretty good. The Levaquin is kicking in finally and I won't be as dehydrated for the next run. I may try this again tomorrow or hold off and ask what my sister plans for the weekend - we may do the newly-rebuilt cinder loop in Forest Park.
A final note: I like the variety of this new terrain. I can manage seeing the same routes over and over again, but the change is certainly nice.
I spent yesterday feeling the burn from my newfound mode of commuting, and traveling to St. Louis. After missing two flights due (more or less) to the transit strike, I finally got on a late flight towards St. Louis that connected in Atlanta. Twelve hours of travel for three actual flight hours, pitiful. Long story, short: the TWU has no idea what kind of ripple effects this strike is having. [One of the elements of me traveling by air is that I can check my suitcase, but must carry with me anything I can't afford to be without for a week, in case that suitcase gets lost. This means I had two carry-ons with me: my running bag filled with medicines and back-up nebulizer, and my Vest, which is about 25 or 30 pounds. The attendants required numerous and lengthy explanations about all of this and why I wouldn't let them be checked, even on the tarmac. They eventually understood, though. :) ]
Anyway, arrived at my sister's and was up pretty late, even had a beer last night. (For what it's worth: Bud Select ain't half bad. It ain't Guinness, but it ain't horse piss either.) In the course of things, I forgot my dosage of Levaquin and completely skipped therapy, which I'm paying for today.
Woke up after a long, deep sleep feeling rested and ready for a four- or five-miler. The soreness of the bicycling is gone and my legs aren't as tight as they were yesterday. However, I am massively dehydrated and am having to play catchup with medicines and therapies. My urine was very dark and my sputum - while coming up without too much effort - is plentiful and very thick. Well, I'll get back on the regular schedule and keep at it.
Heading out from my sister's house, I realized just how hilly the area is. She lives up on top of a hill (perhaps 200 yards), accessible only by a culd-de-sac. That cul-de-sac connects to a lane at the bottom of the hill. That junction is at the bottom of more hills, either way you turn. I chose to go to the right and managed to keep running all the way up to the top - probably a third mile or more. And while I've tackled long hills before of a mile in length - they were gentle or medium grades. My sister's neighborhood is built like San Francisco and the hills are STEEP. I remember having to really gun my motorcycle up the hills on my last visit - very rare.
Anyway, this kind of rapid elevation change is unique to me: I've only encountered such hills on a few short trails in Central and Prospect Park - they don't have this kind of distance to them. (If this is what my sister starts her runs on, she's going to positively laugh at the hills in the NY Marathon!) I chose to do hill repeats, rather than the five-miler; I won't get this opportunity often. I went up the hill at a hard, though not all-out, pace each time, concentrating on keeping a steady speed and not slowing. I jogged back down as slow as the hills would let me, experiencing some real pull for the first time. I can see why one needs to train for downhills as much as uphills!
So a 2x repeat and a half-hour of stretching and three large glasses of water later, I'm feeling pretty good. The Levaquin is kicking in finally and I won't be as dehydrated for the next run. I may try this again tomorrow or hold off and ask what my sister plans for the weekend - we may do the newly-rebuilt cinder loop in Forest Park.
A final note: I like the variety of this new terrain. I can manage seeing the same routes over and over again, but the change is certainly nice.
December 20, 2005
I am.
I.
startled deer soon turn
into angry bears - the cold kind:
commuters disgruntled
II.
toes and fingers numb
workout on the mighty bridge
seven miles 'til home
III.
fireflys blinking
in city orange nighttime
i am one of them
startled deer soon turn
into angry bears - the cold kind:
commuters disgruntled
II.
toes and fingers numb
workout on the mighty bridge
seven miles 'til home
III.
fireflys blinking
in city orange nighttime
i am one of them
I am ... a biathlete?
Let's here it for cardiovascular fitness! Woo-hoo!!!
Now let's here some jeers for the striking MTA workers. 10% raise my ass, not when even the lowliest platform scrubber makes $47,000 a year base plus required offers of overtime. Fuck them.
Last night I had thought I would be heroic and do a brick. Run five this morning (or run-walk as the case may be), and then commute to work on my crappy little 10-speed. This morning, realizing I've never actually bicycled more than six miles straight, I thougth I should save my legs for the bike ride ahead and skipped the run.
I got a workout in anyway! By my GPS, the bicycle route to work is 11.9 miles and I did that in two hours - a half hour was lost in having to WALK the bike across the Brooklyn Bridge and in stopping for some flashing LEDs for tonight's ride home. I was annoyed by the cops on the bridge telling bicyclists to get off and walk - it was 11:00 and traffic was pretty light. Seems to me the cops are actually compounding the problems of getting around, as usual.
I think if I did this ride regularly, I could get it down to about an hour, which is what the subway commute is and what the motorcycle route is on a bad day.
Hoping to get some good work done before tonight's ride home. I may take the Manhattan bridge for that.
Now let's here some jeers for the striking MTA workers. 10% raise my ass, not when even the lowliest platform scrubber makes $47,000 a year base plus required offers of overtime. Fuck them.
Last night I had thought I would be heroic and do a brick. Run five this morning (or run-walk as the case may be), and then commute to work on my crappy little 10-speed. This morning, realizing I've never actually bicycled more than six miles straight, I thougth I should save my legs for the bike ride ahead and skipped the run.
I got a workout in anyway! By my GPS, the bicycle route to work is 11.9 miles and I did that in two hours - a half hour was lost in having to WALK the bike across the Brooklyn Bridge and in stopping for some flashing LEDs for tonight's ride home. I was annoyed by the cops on the bridge telling bicyclists to get off and walk - it was 11:00 and traffic was pretty light. Seems to me the cops are actually compounding the problems of getting around, as usual.
I think if I did this ride regularly, I could get it down to about an hour, which is what the subway commute is and what the motorcycle route is on a bad day.
Hoping to get some good work done before tonight's ride home. I may take the Manhattan bridge for that.
December 17, 2005
I am cat food.
GODDAMN IT! GOD-FUCKING-DAMN IT!!
My frustration level is at an all-time high. It isn't the legs, it's the LUNGS. Maybe I was expecting too much of the Levaquin, hell maybe I was expecting a miracle (I've only had four doses so far), but still.
Today's Hot Chocolate 15K was a miserable, abject failure for me. No, I didn't DNF. And I actually did finish running, but for the most part the race was just miserable.
I'd woken up five minutes before my alarm, fully rested. I got ready to hop on the subway, thankful the MTA had put off their strike for a while, and headed out the door with everything I needed for a day outside. For once, I got it perfect: just the right clothes, just the right nutrition and hydration. Brought painkillers and Albuterol. I had a strategy planned for the race. I mean, a fuckin' strategy, ya know?? Strategies are for the fast runners. Strategies are for confident runners. Strategies are for competitive runners. In short, strategies are for winners.
Didn't help a bit.
The first couple of miles of race were great. After a good warmup jog along the bridle path, I started the race at the back of the pack, just jogging real easy and didn't have a hard time until after the second mile. As the third mile wore on and I tried to speed up to my regular pace, my breathing got more and more labored and my lungs were closing up. (This despite taking a shot of albuterol before the race; I wonder if the canister I brought is out of medicine - you can't tell by feel.) By mile four, I was really suffering - and then came Cat Hill.
I've written about the bobcat statue before. It essentially boils down to this: that thing is waiting to eat the unlucky runner who doesn't RUN by him. And he sure as hell had me for lunch today. Twice! I walked Cat Hill. I walked a lot of the hills today. I am unhappy and frustrated that I should have had to walk at all, but I simply couldn't quit coughing and I was starving for air.
If you're curious what I'm talking about (or can't imagine it) it's kind of like having a nice big engine in your sports car -- that somebody's put a restrictor plate in, thus keeping the incoming air flow down and thus limiting the engine's power and the car's speed. The engine can only go as fast as the breather lets it. Same with me. If you're just dying to know what I'm experiencing, try wrapping a nice thick scarf around your mouth and nose for your next run. You can walk and chat just fine, right? Now try jogging. See how much harder it is? Now wrap it twice - and that's what I was dealing with today.
It was shameful to have to walk. For the entire second lap, I kept passing and being passed by a couple of people. One in particular, an elderly member of CPTC, was a very slow jogger, but very steady. I tried matching his slow pace, but just can't run that slow - a fast walk would do it. Yet when I walked, he got ahead. When I ran, I passed him. I came across the finish line barely ahead of him, I think his name is Paul Saunders. 64 years old and he pretty much wiped his ass with me.
I eventually crossed the finish line for a net time of 1:44:09 - an 11:11 per mile pace. Results here. Such poor results. I doubled back to the med tent, intent on borrowing a pulse-ox meter to check my sats. Though excercise should put one's sats at 100%, I suspect mine were in the mid to low 90's. Turns out that while they can bring heart attack victims back to life, they don't have a pulse-ox meter! Grabbed my bag from the baggage area and headed for the hot chocolate waiting at 103rd street.
As I walked over, I thought about the race, trying to tally up whatever positive elements I could. Ultimax socks: good stuff. New water bottle carrier (hand strap style): very helpful. Clothing choices: almost perfect, perhaps leave the long underwear at home for temps above freezing. I finished. And, not to fail to see the forest, I did get my full scheduled long run in.
A couple of moderately related things to note:
One, this race has brought up the whole God issue for me again. I won't go into how or why or what I'm mulling over; not yet, but my ride home was not spent dwelling on my poor performance, but rather what allowed me to finish the last mile of the race running.
I got an email from an old friend, who lives in Nashville. Apparently she read my blog entry about entering the Nashville Marathon and sent me a virtual thumbs-up. I'm encouraging her and her husband to enter the race, too; perhaps for the full, perhaps for the half. It would be neat to think I've had such a positive effect on people so far away.
Nashville is a little over four months away. Plenty of time to get my lungs in better shape and play catch-up with the training schedule - and learn a little patience.
My frustration level is at an all-time high. It isn't the legs, it's the LUNGS. Maybe I was expecting too much of the Levaquin, hell maybe I was expecting a miracle (I've only had four doses so far), but still.
Today's Hot Chocolate 15K was a miserable, abject failure for me. No, I didn't DNF. And I actually did finish running, but for the most part the race was just miserable.
I'd woken up five minutes before my alarm, fully rested. I got ready to hop on the subway, thankful the MTA had put off their strike for a while, and headed out the door with everything I needed for a day outside. For once, I got it perfect: just the right clothes, just the right nutrition and hydration. Brought painkillers and Albuterol. I had a strategy planned for the race. I mean, a fuckin' strategy, ya know?? Strategies are for the fast runners. Strategies are for confident runners. Strategies are for competitive runners. In short, strategies are for winners.
Didn't help a bit.
The first couple of miles of race were great. After a good warmup jog along the bridle path, I started the race at the back of the pack, just jogging real easy and didn't have a hard time until after the second mile. As the third mile wore on and I tried to speed up to my regular pace, my breathing got more and more labored and my lungs were closing up. (This despite taking a shot of albuterol before the race; I wonder if the canister I brought is out of medicine - you can't tell by feel.) By mile four, I was really suffering - and then came Cat Hill.
I've written about the bobcat statue before. It essentially boils down to this: that thing is waiting to eat the unlucky runner who doesn't RUN by him. And he sure as hell had me for lunch today. Twice! I walked Cat Hill. I walked a lot of the hills today. I am unhappy and frustrated that I should have had to walk at all, but I simply couldn't quit coughing and I was starving for air.
If you're curious what I'm talking about (or can't imagine it) it's kind of like having a nice big engine in your sports car -- that somebody's put a restrictor plate in, thus keeping the incoming air flow down and thus limiting the engine's power and the car's speed. The engine can only go as fast as the breather lets it. Same with me. If you're just dying to know what I'm experiencing, try wrapping a nice thick scarf around your mouth and nose for your next run. You can walk and chat just fine, right? Now try jogging. See how much harder it is? Now wrap it twice - and that's what I was dealing with today.
It was shameful to have to walk. For the entire second lap, I kept passing and being passed by a couple of people. One in particular, an elderly member of CPTC, was a very slow jogger, but very steady. I tried matching his slow pace, but just can't run that slow - a fast walk would do it. Yet when I walked, he got ahead. When I ran, I passed him. I came across the finish line barely ahead of him, I think his name is Paul Saunders. 64 years old and he pretty much wiped his ass with me.
I eventually crossed the finish line for a net time of 1:44:09 - an 11:11 per mile pace. Results here. Such poor results. I doubled back to the med tent, intent on borrowing a pulse-ox meter to check my sats. Though excercise should put one's sats at 100%, I suspect mine were in the mid to low 90's. Turns out that while they can bring heart attack victims back to life, they don't have a pulse-ox meter! Grabbed my bag from the baggage area and headed for the hot chocolate waiting at 103rd street.
As I walked over, I thought about the race, trying to tally up whatever positive elements I could. Ultimax socks: good stuff. New water bottle carrier (hand strap style): very helpful. Clothing choices: almost perfect, perhaps leave the long underwear at home for temps above freezing. I finished. And, not to fail to see the forest, I did get my full scheduled long run in.
A couple of moderately related things to note:
One, this race has brought up the whole God issue for me again. I won't go into how or why or what I'm mulling over; not yet, but my ride home was not spent dwelling on my poor performance, but rather what allowed me to finish the last mile of the race running.
I got an email from an old friend, who lives in Nashville. Apparently she read my blog entry about entering the Nashville Marathon and sent me a virtual thumbs-up. I'm encouraging her and her husband to enter the race, too; perhaps for the full, perhaps for the half. It would be neat to think I've had such a positive effect on people so far away.
Nashville is a little over four months away. Plenty of time to get my lungs in better shape and play catch-up with the training schedule - and learn a little patience.
December 15, 2005
I am nothing if not consistent
5 miles planned, 3 miles ranned. I am nothing if not consistent; I seem to be developing a pattern of cutting my runs short for one reason or another. I'm glad I haven't MISSED a run in several weeks, but I will wind up very short of my mileage goals this week. On the other hand, there's something to be said for saving your best effort for the more important runs. I have a 10-miler planned for this weekend, but will let Saturday's 15K do the trick. Perhaps if I get in a warm-up jog before the race, I'll hit 10 for the day.
BUT.
But there might be a transit strike! If so, getting to the race will be difficult, if not impossible. I'm planning on bicycling to my doctor's tomorrow, a distance of about seven miles. I'll have to start out at least 90 minutes early. If I want to race Saturday, I may have to bicycle to that, too - a distance of ten miles. (Balls. I haven't even figured out if I can take a bicycle across the Brooklyn or Manhattan bridges!)
BUT.
But there might be a transit strike! If so, getting to the race will be difficult, if not impossible. I'm planning on bicycling to my doctor's tomorrow, a distance of about seven miles. I'll have to start out at least 90 minutes early. If I want to race Saturday, I may have to bicycle to that, too - a distance of ten miles. (Balls. I haven't even figured out if I can take a bicycle across the Brooklyn or Manhattan bridges!)
December 14, 2005
I am keeping the watch
Earlier this month, I established a publicly-accessible and subscribable NYRR events calendar. Once subscribed, a user's computer will automatically keep his or her calendar updated with upcoming NYRR events. Each event contains the basic time and day info, as well as scored and qualifier status, and is hotlinked to NYRR's own event page for more information or to register. Subscriptions to the calendar are handled by various apps such as iCal (Mac), Mozilla Calendar, Entourage (I think), Ximian, Novell Evolution, KDE, and Microsoft Works. This is a free service, of course.
Please view the calendar, published in icalshare.com's directory, and subscribe if you like.
iCalShare NYRR Current Events
Please view the calendar, published in icalshare.com's directory, and subscribe if you like.
iCalShare NYRR Current Events
December 13, 2005
I am on antibiotics
So the email method of posting to this blog has its bugs and I don't think I'll do that much anymore.
The recent distress I'm having when running isn't all in my head. After the terrible race, and after coughing up blood-streaked sputum over the last few days, and a few other indicators, I called the doctor Monday and got my mid-Jan appointment moved up to today. (I got to see Dr. Ting, as Dr. Shaw is out on maternity leave; can't wait to see pictures of the little guy.) The PFTs are not encouraging, but they at least point the way to getting some treatment going. From a high at the beginning of summer of 52% FEV1 predicted, I'm down to 42%.
Based on October's sensitivities, Ting's put me on Levaquin, which is really quite good in my experience. New cultures are currently cooking and by the time I leave for Xmas, I should be able to report improvement (or none) to the doc, and he'll be able to assess my current bugs and their sensitivities. IV antibiotics are not out of the question yet, though I have great faith in Levaquin. Hell, even Cipro, which I am supposedly resistant to, still works pretty well.
I did avoid hospitalization, though, which is pleasing. Part of what took that option off the table is that my heartrate read as 66 and my sats at 97. Sats below 90 are cause for inpatient care; but my sats have never been that low. The other factor in avoiding the hospital: I GAINED WEIGHT! THREE POUNDS!! You've no idea how tickled I am, as this is something I've been working on for most of a year. I have been good about doing my therapy and taking in a steady, fairly-high-calorie diet. And my reward is three pounds!
All of the above discussion is to say: I'm sure that I'll have a little easier time running this weekend at the Hot Chocolate 15K and certainly by the New Year's Eve 4-miler I'll be in great shape.
I did go running in Central Park after the doctor's appointment. I had to hurry, since NYRR closed early today. I'd been planning three loops of the reservoir for 4.8 miles, but quickly found that running on frozen-solid compressed snow, cinder, and ice is worse than running on cobblestones. So I shifted to doing the loop, cutting across at the 102nd and 72nd street crossovers, for a 4-mile run. It was hard, and bad. Walked about 1/2-mile of it, total. Didn't make it up Cat Hill running. I know the cold air (22 degrees!) isn't helping the whole "breathing" thing, but I was quite warm overall in three shirts and if I can get this lung infection under control, then Old Man Winter can bring it on, baby!
The recent distress I'm having when running isn't all in my head. After the terrible race, and after coughing up blood-streaked sputum over the last few days, and a few other indicators, I called the doctor Monday and got my mid-Jan appointment moved up to today. (I got to see Dr. Ting, as Dr. Shaw is out on maternity leave; can't wait to see pictures of the little guy.) The PFTs are not encouraging, but they at least point the way to getting some treatment going. From a high at the beginning of summer of 52% FEV1 predicted, I'm down to 42%.
Based on October's sensitivities, Ting's put me on Levaquin, which is really quite good in my experience. New cultures are currently cooking and by the time I leave for Xmas, I should be able to report improvement (or none) to the doc, and he'll be able to assess my current bugs and their sensitivities. IV antibiotics are not out of the question yet, though I have great faith in Levaquin. Hell, even Cipro, which I am supposedly resistant to, still works pretty well.
I did avoid hospitalization, though, which is pleasing. Part of what took that option off the table is that my heartrate read as 66 and my sats at 97. Sats below 90 are cause for inpatient care; but my sats have never been that low. The other factor in avoiding the hospital: I GAINED WEIGHT! THREE POUNDS!! You've no idea how tickled I am, as this is something I've been working on for most of a year. I have been good about doing my therapy and taking in a steady, fairly-high-calorie diet. And my reward is three pounds!
All of the above discussion is to say: I'm sure that I'll have a little easier time running this weekend at the Hot Chocolate 15K and certainly by the New Year's Eve 4-miler I'll be in great shape.
I did go running in Central Park after the doctor's appointment. I had to hurry, since NYRR closed early today. I'd been planning three loops of the reservoir for 4.8 miles, but quickly found that running on frozen-solid compressed snow, cinder, and ice is worse than running on cobblestones. So I shifted to doing the loop, cutting across at the 102nd and 72nd street crossovers, for a 4-mile run. It was hard, and bad. Walked about 1/2-mile of it, total. Didn't make it up Cat Hill running. I know the cold air (22 degrees!) isn't helping the whole "breathing" thing, but I was quite warm overall in three shirts and if I can get this lung infection under control, then Old Man Winter can bring it on, baby!
December 11, 2005
I am my sweetest friend
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real.
"I don't mean to intrude, but are you alright??" the woman asked anxiously.
I assured her I was and was just preparing to stretch. Truth, I was exhausted and was quite happy to be lying down for a minute. But I appreciated that she noticed. Apparently, if you're lying on your back, you're cause for worry; unless you have a leg thrown over your side at an odd angle, in which case you're just someone stretching out.
Three hours earlier, I'd been picked up at my house by Beast and we drove into Manhattan for today's 10K run in Central Park. Fine, fine weather we had; near perfect for a winter's day. Just below freezing, no clouds, and a clear jogging path. After picking up numbers and t-shirts in the madhouse that was NYRR headquarters, it took us awhile to find parking. Just as time was becoming a pressing problem, he spotted a good space and took it. I thought it not too near the hydrant; I hope he didn't end up with a ticket.
The race start was near the 102nd street crossover, and we had just enough time to go drop our bags, use the port-a-johns and get to the starting line. As the starting announcement blared, I perched up top a rock and surveyed the crowd. Several thousand people turned out for today's run and the starting area was packed, as was the course. It took several minutes to get across the starting line and the course remained crowded almost the entire run.
This was not a good run for me. By the end of the first mile, which included heartbreak hill, I was seriously doubting my ability to finish the race. It was clear to me right off the bat that any hopes of a 10K PR were shelved, as my breathing was labored and my coughing frequent and severe. Not having gotten in a warm-up run, my legs were tight and that was also working against me. I decided to wait and see and if I needed to drop out at the other end of the 102nd street crossover, I'd do it. But by the time I got there, the course was headed downhill and I thought I should continue.
I spent the entire time from the beginning of mile two to the end of mile three contemplating a DNF. I didn't have a DNF on my running resume to this point and perhaps that's the only thing that kept me from posting one today; the shame would have just killed me. I have yet to fail to finish a race and I hated for it to happen on a day when the course conditions were so RIGHT.
I struggled on and as the half-way mark came and went, I fought tension in many muscle groups, but most especially my neck and shoulders - something I haven't experienced to that degree in months. Though my legs were warming up, the rest of me was getting way too warm and the race was just plain getting harder.
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I found myself praying for a magically truncated course. Had Lucifer himself appeared in front of me and offered to trade me a shortened race for my soul, I might have taken him up on it. I was NOT having fun. But no mediation-meting mephisto materialized to mitigate my misery, leaving me to the melancholy of marching measured miles.
Having neglected to bring my music, I chose to get my mind off the stress by disassociating. I thought about the throngs of holiday shoppers I'd already seen that morning (and would press through later that day as it turned out). The holiday season, it seems to me, is the Micro-Age of Acquisition. We give because we get. We want and we want and what we don't get, we buy for ourselves. How much of our holiday spending goes to things we won't even remember we own in a year? This materialism is only offset by the small tokens of giving: toys gathered for tots, checks written to favorite charities. But it's rarely the 10% tithe of old, is it? It's what we can "spare" in order to make ourselves feel better about piling our arms with gaily colored bags while we walk right past the homeless guy keeping warm at the subway entrance. We drop a few coins in the kettle and fool ourselves into thinking we've bought Tiny Tim the biggest, fattest Christmas goose in the shoppe window, thereby earning ourselves a reprieve from whatever lake of fire awaits us. And I...I am no better than the shoppers I dwell on. But enough of this foolish speculation!
By the third water stop, at roughly the 4.5 mile point, I began to think I'd at least finish this race and was striving not to take a walk break. Cat Hill nearly did me in and it took all I had to make it to the top and get to the flat section that passes Road Runners.
I was concentrated so much on trying to suck in enough air that I didn't actually mind the extra .2 miles this time. The finishing chute was crowded, as the course had been, and I hardly regarded crossing the finish line, though gratefully slowed to a walk and was soon at the side, coughing and dry-heaving into the snow. I bypassed the long line forming in the baggage area and reached over the fencing and grabbed my bag, which I almost always leave near the edges for just such a purpose. As if by magic, a cop appeared at my elbow, cheerfully commenting on how wet the bottom of the bag must be and could she please see the tag number? I have to applaud her for doing the bag-checking job so cheerfully. She didn't give me a hard time about side-stepping the line and once again I suspect that in this, as with my motorcycle lane-splitting, the cops would rather I do that and get out (thereby reducing congestion) than be part of the bigger problem.
Thus it is, I stretched my calves at a tree, staggered up a small slope, spotted some dry asphalt, and got pegged as a med case.
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
in the end.
I gathered my gear and started sucking down a bottle of Recoverite while headed for a brunch that Derek Rose had arranged for the local bloggers. I should have called ahead as the Metro Diner was packed, but I managed to shoehorn myself into the booth and passed the next hour quite pleasantly with Derek, Danny (who is still suffering painful running), Uptowngirl, and NYflygirl chatting about quite a few things. It would be fun to meet up again, at the bars, after the Emerald Nuts Midnight Run.
Walking down to the 72nd street subway station, I had a lot on my mind. Mainly the present state of my health, both lungs and legs. My left IT band was on fire yesterday, but felt fine today. A little tight during the race and twingy much later in the afternoon, but nothing like yesterday. Still, my stride is short and I can't seem to stretch it out (it might be my long underwear isn't helping either!). My lungs are definitely in poor shape. I simply can't get the oxygen I need; spent most of the race trying to hold it at a pace where I wasn't gasping for air. During one particularly bad coughing fit, where I was also trying to avoid slipping into "survival shuffle," one woman turned around and told me I should be in bed! Coughing on the course is nothing new to me; but I'm not just having my regular productive cough. These fits are extended and bring up little or nothing; they leave me drained. I think I will call the dr. tomorrow and find out when my next regular checkup is. I have some questions to ask, particularly about GSH and oil of oregano.
Moving into the subway, the perfect cooldown song came up on my iPod: Johnny Cash's "Hurt". There're trees and there's forest; this particular song is good at making me forget the trees and see the forest. This run was three miles too short according to my training schedule, but it's no biggie in the grand scheme of things; I didn't even need it as a qualifier and if keeping it short today prevents a worse injury, then so be it. And it wasn't my worst 10K, either. Scotland 10K was slower. Healthy Kidney 10K was faster - but only by 90 seconds! So today wasn't a PR - but even feeling like I did while running I still managed an average performance.
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way.
December 9, 2005
I am almost redeemed
Suck it up, strap 'em on, hit the blacktop. Stop whining; you're such a fuckin' pussy sometimes.
I woke up this morning and looked out the window where I was staying and saw nothing but white. Five inches had fallen overnight and it was still snowing heavily. I briefly contemplated going out for five miles anyway, slugging through the snow. Or perhaps do some hill repeats, so as to keep within close range of the house. But then I realized that I could barely see the bright yellow road plow going down the hill 25 yards away and only noticed him by his revolving yellow lights.
Discretion is the better part of valour, I tell myself. And go back to bed for another hour.
By the time I got up again, it was no longer snowing. After a shower, the sky was clear and blue. Perfect day for a run - except I had meetings to go to. As the sun set during the long busride back to New York, I contemplated that I had given up on a run that would have been perfectly doable, if difficult. That though concerns about being visible to drivers in the snow are valid, they hadn't stopped me before. I wimped out!
So I put in a run as soon as I got home. I didn't go 5; turned around once my out-and-back route transitioned from sidewalks to trail, cutting my run down to 4 miles. But the first mile was good and the last was good. Had only a couple down moments with coughing and I think I've really gotten the proper mode of dress for 20-30 degree weather down pat.
So am I redeemed? Am I not such a pussy? Or am I still, because I'm finishing up this entry by whining about how much my knees and legs hurt all day today and made themselves felt during the run.
I stretched a lot post-run and did some foam-roller, and later tonight will do my weights, too. I'm afraid of over or under-doing the physical therapy and screwing up my chances at a good, solid, long-run on Sunday, part of which will be a NYRR 10K. I'd like to set a PR there, and believe I'm completely capable of it, if my legs and lungs both cooperate.
December 8, 2005
I am redeemed
Tuesday's 5-miler didn't go as planned. Wound up cutting it short at 4 miles; partly because I felt pressed for time and partly because my lungs just wouldn't cooperate. Neither would my legs. I don't get it.
Spent the last couple of days concentrating on getting in stretching and weights and some foam rolling. It seems to have helped a little bit. This morning's 5-miler (I did the whole thing this time!) was a lot easier on my lungs, though it got more difficult in the second half. My legs also felt better, though I know that's the effect of the ibuprofen I took beforehand - which is a cheat. It means I'm not feeling what's really going on down there and I'll pay for it later. But I have to be in New Jersey tomorrow morning and don't know if I'll get the required run in.
This morning's run was the coldest yet this season: 22 degrees, according the the weather widget on my desktop. Funny, it didn't feel much colder than Tuesday's run, which was at about 34 degrees. I guess it's because the streets and sidewalks were almost clear of ice and snow and the foot placement was easier, leading to a better rhythm and making it easier to keep warm! I did not, however, take off those overgloves!
It was exciting to read about PartyRunner's Las Vegas Marathon experience. As well, it was nice to get a mention for my training spreadsheets in Danny's Rundown this week.
December 4, 2005
I am inspired
...by Beast, who got out and ran 10 miles this morning in this slushy shit. And he did it BEFORE Prospect Park was plowed, making it a tough, wet, messy endeavor, which is all right when you're with the ladies, but ain't no fun for running.
One thing Beast wrote, in particular, guilted me into re-evaluating the roads and leaving the house at 2 p.m. "...the slipperiness of today’s run got me thinking about the tenuousness at which anyone who pursues fitness and athleticism can find themselves easily start slipping back down the road to fitness." I'm not sure he said what he thinks he wrote, but I think we all get the idea. That word "tenuous" really got under my skin. How tenuous am I if I let a little snowfall keep me from using a perfectly good day off to put in enough miles to finish the week up in the green?
That sonofabitch doesn't EVEN know how motivating he is to back-of-the-pack-ers like me. I mean, this man not only has a full Ironman training schedule to keep up, but also a full-time job and taking care of his family. If he can suck it up and get a run in, so can I.
And...I'm glad I went!
The run went well - not easy, but well. I didn't slow to a walk for any reason except cars in Prospect Park who were ignoring pedestrian right-of-way (I hope both of them get flat tires). Even when the coughing fits came - and there were fewer today than yesterday - I only slowed my pace to a slow jog. I was able to get back up to long-run pace fairly quickly. Hills sucked, I was gasping for air at the top of them, but at least I could continue.
By the time I got to the park, my shoes were dirty and wet; by the time I got onto the plowed-clear main road, my toes were soaked with slush. Bah. Keep running. I ran the reverse loop, as I was curious how many people were out running today; turns out a lot! One guy was even out there doing a brick, I believe. I got dumped on by the trees several times, wetting my sweatshirt.
I was warmer today, too. I wore overgloves and added a t-shirt and it made all the difference. I ended up stripping off the overgloves and the lack of wind helped, so that I was sweating nicely but not too overheated. In short, despite the sloppy conditions, I was as comfortable as my lungs and legs would allow.
I got back to my house an hour and twenty minutes after I left, which for a 6.8 mile loop is pretty good for me. I still feel slow and loaded down, but there were some moments of greatness today and I am satisfied with the run and more than satisfied with my tenacity in achieving my weekly mileage goal.
I am whited out
I should have known it was too good to be true.
I woke this morning feeling more rested than I have in a long, long
time. I felt energized, like yesterday's run had been the last of
some kind of crap and my body and mind had changed the filters
overnight. Cheerfully, I climbed right into my running clothes,
threw on a warmup jacket and overgloves and opened the door.
Snow. No big deal, I've run in snow before. But not this kind!
This is the wet, slushy kind in a thin layer that affords no reliable
footing, especially in running shoes. By the time I was done
shoveling the walk and laying down salt (which turned my glove rather
white itself), I decided that discretion is the better part of valour
and a sprained ankle or banged knee is something I don't need.
I'll put my energy today into getting my apartment clean and get some
unneeded crap listed on eBay. Maybe later if the walks get cleared
up and enough of slush melts away, I can get a short run in; try to
get this week up to its scheduled totals.
December 3, 2005
I am committed.
...or probably SHOULD be committed. I am apparently quite insane, as I have gone and signed up for Nashville's Country Music Marathon. I just spent the last couple of hours slapping together a training schedule and fancying up the spreadsheet. I welcome any comments on the schedule itself - obvious problems - and will gladly email the Excel spreadsheet to whomever would like it. (I set it up so that as I go through and enter the actual mileage, excel will color-code the entry red or green based on the value of the planned mileage above it; you can see the effects in the first week's results). And speaking of first week...not off to a rousing start, am I? Perhaps the plan is too ambitious.
...yet Ceasar was ambitious...
...yet Ceasar was ambitious...
I am frustrated
You know, I've been a good boy lately. I've been doing my TKEs and hamstring curls. I've been doing my therapy twice a day, even to the point of suffering the inevitable asthma attacks from a second dose of TOBI. I've been sticking to an every-other-day running schedule and doing no less than three - and usually five - miles per run.
So why is it so fucking HARD?? I mean, the last few runs have been difficult to the point of satire. I should be having no problems pounding out anything under nine miles. Yet I find myself consistently defeated by my own body.
Last Thursday, I did my five mile flat out-and-back, which takes me along the BQE to the point where - if I continued on - I'd cross through a small park and then be jogging along the bay toward the Verazanno. Going out I experienced few problems, though I did walk for a half block to get my coughing under control. Coming back was much worse, I kept having to walk.
It was the same story today. I'd meant to get in 10 miles - just add a loop of Prospect Park to my 6.8 route - but I ended up at a longish five instead. Going up to the park and going round I simply couldn't get a good breathing rhythm going and my coughing was really draining me. What's particularly frustrating is that I have had hellatious coughing fits while continuing to run in the past. Staten Island Half was a dream - I didn't slow below a good trot even once! But now...I get so short of oxygen, I have to slow down to a walk. What's ironic is that this doesn't happen on hills, either down or up. Only on flat sections, though by the time I crest a hill, I may have to slow to a walk. Another bit I can't figure out is whether the cold air is causing this or not - usually I breathe better in cold air.
Speaking of temperature, the temps have been slowly falling over the last week. I'm fine with this; I like winter. Right now is near-ideal temps to run in. But I'm having some difficulty acclimating. Today, I wore some long-johns underneath my running pants and wore a sweatshirt, knit cap, and knit gloves. While my legs were fine, I was still chilly up top and my hands were lumps of ice. I'm willing to attribute some of the chill to the wind, which was bad but not brutal. Still - I should be very comfortable in that amount of clothing or perhaps too warm, but I'm not.
Finally, another CF factor cropped up today: my gut. I woke up this morning with stomach pain and tenderness in the right side. I've had this before and it went away once I got my diet on an even keel (read: strictly regular and regulated). Recently, I broke the norm and had myself a nice grilled, marinated flank steak night before last and last night delivery sushi (a new place called Kiku; they did a good job, but I was most impressed with their oshinko plate). So did this small variance from my routine become my downfall today? Is the fact that I used the toilet four times in four hours before I got out the door of significance? So this gut pain isn't good and while I'm content to run through it, I'd really rather not.
Perhaps I'm not properly motivated. I have to admit I'd rather have skipped today's run altogether. But I didn't. It's nice that I got out there and did it; but it isn't exactly a victory either. Well, I'll be motivated as hell next week; I'm doing the Joe Kleinerman 10K next weekend. I'll have to tack on a four-mile warmup in order to get back on track with my training schedule. If all goes well, it could turn out to be a great 10K run!
The bright sides of all this recent frustration are a) I know this won't last forever - I'll get acclimated and my lungs will adapt to the cold &/or the doc will get me on some antibiotics [I suspect a mild infection but not enough to go see the doc before regular exam]; and b)my legs are fine. A bit tight, but I'm doing good with the before-and-after stretching, keeping on my PT homework, and the like. And I can once again feel the results of being a good boy about that. In fact, the short downhill run (maybe half mile) from the park to the grocery today I actually felt good. Legs working, lungs finally cooperating a bit, and weaving in and out of people on the sidewalk also felt charmed.
So why is it so fucking HARD?? I mean, the last few runs have been difficult to the point of satire. I should be having no problems pounding out anything under nine miles. Yet I find myself consistently defeated by my own body.
Last Thursday, I did my five mile flat out-and-back, which takes me along the BQE to the point where - if I continued on - I'd cross through a small park and then be jogging along the bay toward the Verazanno. Going out I experienced few problems, though I did walk for a half block to get my coughing under control. Coming back was much worse, I kept having to walk.
It was the same story today. I'd meant to get in 10 miles - just add a loop of Prospect Park to my 6.8 route - but I ended up at a longish five instead. Going up to the park and going round I simply couldn't get a good breathing rhythm going and my coughing was really draining me. What's particularly frustrating is that I have had hellatious coughing fits while continuing to run in the past. Staten Island Half was a dream - I didn't slow below a good trot even once! But now...I get so short of oxygen, I have to slow down to a walk. What's ironic is that this doesn't happen on hills, either down or up. Only on flat sections, though by the time I crest a hill, I may have to slow to a walk. Another bit I can't figure out is whether the cold air is causing this or not - usually I breathe better in cold air.
Speaking of temperature, the temps have been slowly falling over the last week. I'm fine with this; I like winter. Right now is near-ideal temps to run in. But I'm having some difficulty acclimating. Today, I wore some long-johns underneath my running pants and wore a sweatshirt, knit cap, and knit gloves. While my legs were fine, I was still chilly up top and my hands were lumps of ice. I'm willing to attribute some of the chill to the wind, which was bad but not brutal. Still - I should be very comfortable in that amount of clothing or perhaps too warm, but I'm not.
Finally, another CF factor cropped up today: my gut. I woke up this morning with stomach pain and tenderness in the right side. I've had this before and it went away once I got my diet on an even keel (read: strictly regular and regulated). Recently, I broke the norm and had myself a nice grilled, marinated flank steak night before last and last night delivery sushi (a new place called Kiku; they did a good job, but I was most impressed with their oshinko plate). So did this small variance from my routine become my downfall today? Is the fact that I used the toilet four times in four hours before I got out the door of significance? So this gut pain isn't good and while I'm content to run through it, I'd really rather not.
Perhaps I'm not properly motivated. I have to admit I'd rather have skipped today's run altogether. But I didn't. It's nice that I got out there and did it; but it isn't exactly a victory either. Well, I'll be motivated as hell next week; I'm doing the Joe Kleinerman 10K next weekend. I'll have to tack on a four-mile warmup in order to get back on track with my training schedule. If all goes well, it could turn out to be a great 10K run!
The bright sides of all this recent frustration are a) I know this won't last forever - I'll get acclimated and my lungs will adapt to the cold &/or the doc will get me on some antibiotics [I suspect a mild infection but not enough to go see the doc before regular exam]; and b)my legs are fine. A bit tight, but I'm doing good with the before-and-after stretching, keeping on my PT homework, and the like. And I can once again feel the results of being a good boy about that. In fact, the short downhill run (maybe half mile) from the park to the grocery today I actually felt good. Legs working, lungs finally cooperating a bit, and weaving in and out of people on the sidewalk also felt charmed.
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