First New Year's Resolution (and we're only half way through December!) is this: less Facebook status updates, more blogging. After all, there's about two dozen things I want to post to Facebook each day, but I realize that most of them are not something I should broadcast - a blog is a much tighter circle of readers. At least, mine is.
So from today forward, I'm getting back to this blog which AS ALWAYS is chiefly an exercise log. But in the past, it's been a great outlet to think through other problems and I didn't give that enough credit. There were many moments these last four months I should have brought my thoughts here, but didn't - and instead they festered.
Many of those thoughts revolve around Dad. I'm finding it a lot harder to process the fact of his death - no, his ABSENCE - than I thought I would. Let's face it: we didn't have the closest relationship ever. There'd be weeks where we didn't speak; months even. But towards the end, it was a lot closer than it had been in years and now I find I miss that.
FIT is also at the top of my "hell no I'm not posting that to Facebook" list of things to express. I had a serious problem with my students this semester and perhaps in a later post, I'll document it. No names will be used, of course.
And, of course, my health remains variable. Right now I'm on oral antibiotics and much to my surprise, they're WORKING! No IVs this December! But what impact will this winter have on me? I don't know. Another New Year's resolution, and one I'll talk about at length in another post, is my resolution to put on some muscle mass. Back in March 2008, I looked GOOD. No reason I can't get back to that with a few months of focused weight regimen.
My one hesitation in returning to blogging is that I really don't want my family reading it. It isn't that I don't want their support - I really do - but I don't want their input into my day-to-day quandaries beyond what I post on Facebook. Unfortunately, my only choices are to either shut down public access to my blog, or keep it public and straight out tell my family I'd prefer they not read it. This blog has had proven benefit to other people, complete strangers. My post about cough syncope from February 28, 2009 is the fifth hit in a Google search for "cough syncope". Many people have found that they're not alone! (Incidentally, I need to update my readers on how things have developed on that front, as well.)
So, let's say I'm back as a regular blogger. My reticence to blog, attributable in large part to Dad's death, is slowly evaporating. And my need to document my life is increasing - possibly due to a heightened awareness of my own mortality.
And I'll wrap up with how I staved off mortality today: a return to the gym. I haven't been to my gym in several months, mostly because it was great weather this summer and I exercised outdoors exclusively. My bicycling skills are good! My running has shown slight improvement lately. But my upper body strength and overall flexibility are poor. Hitting the weights is way overdue, so I did a test workout at the gym this evening - seeing where I'm at currently so I can start a structured 2x week program. I'm about 30% off where I was a year ago. Gotta fix that.