I am vocal; I am satisfied; I am fast!

Last night - I wanted to run. I wanted to run THEN and would have, surely, if I didn't have the Healthy Kidney 10K to run this morning. And more than I wanted to run last night, I wanted to have an outstanding run TODAY. So I listened to my running mix and bided my time. I got into bed too late, but I don't worry about that anymore, since it seems it's only important to get enough sleep the night BEFORE the night before a race.

And let me be clear: I was definitely going to be racing this one. Taking a cue from another blogger (Chelle maybe), I had bronze, silver, and gold-medal goals. I didn't look up my PR but believed it to be last year's Healthy Kidney, which I conquered with some other fellow's help in just a shade over 63 minutes - 10 minute miles, basically.

I have had my eye on this race for four months. Since going on IV's in February, I have looked forward to this race. Since the Nashville Half, I have looked no further down the road than this race. Every run I've put in for the last couple months (and there weren't enough I admit), I have put in to train for this race. This is a big benchmark for me. And considering the large success of four of my last five runs - I woke up this morning with one singular thought: set a new PR. that's it. No other goals mattered.

True, the "bronze" goal still existed - run strong, run long, two or less walking breaks of less than 50 paces each. Two or fewer water breaks. 10:30 miles or better or 65 minutes or so; comfortable and steady w/ concessions to lung condition. Silver - one water break max, no walking, though slow stretches would be acceptable; steady and strong, work up a good sweat; whole thing feel "better than average." Gold: strong, fast, continuous; work harder than the runners around me; set a PR. Set a PR. Set a PR.

Subway into Manhattan; yogurt, powerbar, and coffee: breakfast of champions. I had in the back of my mind a plan to run home after the race or at least down to Manhattan Bridge, so everything I brought was disposable: jacket, bag, old gloves, leaky water bottles, etc. I could easily just munch a Hammer nutrition bar after the race, down the Recoverite, and toss the bag. (Run home didn't happen - too pooped.) I was running with the minimum clothing; again, no fuel, no hydration, no cell phone. Shorts, long-sleeve shirt, shades, and shoes. Magic underwear. I even left my hat behind in the bag.

Got to Central Park with barely enough time to drop off my bag and find an empty john. In fact, the horn sounded as I stepped out. The crowd took some time to clear out (I heard the announcer say "we're already five and a half minutes into the race and runners are still crossing the start line!") I waited until the entire crowd had crossed the start line before approaching. I stood back about fifty feet from the start and just stood there, waiting for the slower crowd up ahead to get some distance ahead of me. I focused my thoughts, got a running start, and began the race at the pace I wanted and uncrowded. I did not note my start time.

I immediately started passing people, of course. But that didn't taper off; I kept passing people the whole race! I was at mile two before I knew it; felt like maybe 1.5 miles. I was already thirsty, but didn't stop for water. Just kept pushing. The worst hills were coming up in the next two miles. Lucky for me, Nashville's hills were worse (or felt like it) and I just pushed right up the hills - sped up in fact. I also used the downhills to stretch my stride. My pace gradually increased as the race wore on. I passed runner after runner, though it became harder to catch the next one.

After topping the major uphill in the Harlem end of the park and starting south on the East drive, I was feeling pretty beat. I'd just passed the 5K mat but again didn't notice the clock and wondered what my splits would be. I was feeling hungry and weak and the memory of Steve Runner's hurling during the Boston Marathon made me gag, too. I tried not to think about regurgitation, dry-type or not.

Just after the 4th mile marker, when I was thinking that was the longest damn mile 4 I'd ever run, I spied a bean-pole of a woman standing atop one of the wooden posts of the low fences holding aloft a blood-red pom-pom in her right hand and what had to be the brightest white pom-pom ever in her left hand. The red and white blazed out at me and I had been looking for them. I shouted "Uptown Girl!!" as I went by and heard her cheering me and the other runners on. "Woo-hoo!" I shouted. Thanks for the cheering, it's what I really needed at that point.

From then on, I was much more vocal in this race, giving voice to my thoughts and drawing more energy from them. It especially helped to do so on the downhill just before reaching the fifth mile marker, which was across on the next uphill. "Only one tenth of a half marathon to go!" I belted. Silly way of thinking about 1.3 miles maybe, but I was wearing down and wanted to get this race done in the same mode I'd done the previous five miles: strong and fast. I'd also been in two-two breathing mode since mile 3 and now even that was not enough: I needed oxygen. I needed to slow down -- but the race was now only a mile from the end! How I could I give in now??

Finally, I rounded the bottom of the park and saw a blessed sign: 800 Meters To Go. 4/10 of a mile. Push it. Push it now; finish strong. "Finish strong."

"Finish strong [breathe in] finish strong! [breathe in] FINISH STRONG!" Breathe, vocalize, breathe, vocalize. I think I spurred on a couple of people around me to run faster. I wanted to button this thing up with a finishing kick. At 400 meters to go and with the finish line in sight, I was able to ramp up my speed even further, though not to a sprint.

I crossed the finish line and let out a last "UGH!" I felt like I'd been punched all over. My mouth was coated and - ah, yes, here it comes - the coughing fit that hit me had me staggering to the side of the chute to hang on to a rail while my lungs did what they do. (I'm used to this finishing coughing fit, by the way. I can run six miles with only minor coughing and no fits, but as soon as I stop, the coughing hits hard and fast and takes a while to stop.) Someone became concerned and I became aware of a hovering presence at my elbow - someone short, squat, and in blue - a race official perhaps, or one of the EMTs. I caught my breath and straightened up and turned: it was Dr. Maharam! He had a look of genuine concern in his eyes. I took off my shades so he might recognize me easier and explained it was merely my CF. He nodded vaguely and encouraged me to keep walking, keep the muscles moving. I smiled at him and told him I think I set a PR! Then walk I did for the next ten minutes while I retrieved my stuff, sucked down Recoverite, and waited for the raffle (aw...no spa for me.)

I failed to clearly note my finish time, too. I feel fairly certain I set a PR, but have NOT YET CHECKED. I didn't do the math in the park, didn't turn to others who finished with me and ask about the clock. I didn't look it up even once I got to the (brand-new) Apple Store on 5th Ave. (By the way, check out the entrance - awesome.) I go shopping for food, come home, shower, take a nap, go to Brooklyn Harley...and still haven't check online how I did.

Let's check it now, shall we?

And the survey says: I AM THE GOLD-MEDAL WINNER FOR TODAY!!! Yes, I did it! I set a new personal record of 57 minutes, 42 seconds! That's a 9:18 pace, kids; more than five minutes off my old 10K personal best. This is going to be a hard one to break, but not impossible. I know I can run this faster; it will take focused speed-work. I may even have to get to a track. I know I can break a 9:00 pace, eventually. Also, for the record, I started the race at 6 minutes, 45 seconds. My 5K split time is 35:59 by the clock, so 29:14 by the chip. Which MEANS...negative splits!

Oh, ad I saw NYFlyGirl after the race. I asked her how she did. "50/50" she replied. 50/50? Is this a new kind of performance term I haven't heard before? Took me a minute to realize the said 50:50 - she didn't look too pleased by this, but then she's always one of the fast ones. Heck, she whooped my time pretty good, didn't she?

I'm planning on doing the brand-new New York Half Marathon in August, the Mets Run to Home Plate, the Fifth Avenue Mile, maybe the Bronx Half, definitely the Staten Island half, and of course - in November - the next big goal: the NY Marathon! This race has left me with two thoughts about that: one, I have it in me to train up and run a strong race, particularly with my CF doctor's help; and two, I have a long, long way to go in training.