March 13, 2010

Happy first D-day to me

I guess I can blow out the candle, but I'll pass on the cupcake.

A year ago today, I had the first clinical indications of my diabetes, in the form of high BG readings in routine pre-IV bloodwork. I have to say that I think I have handled it well and have made the adjustment masterfully. It helps that being overweight is not a part of the problem, as it is with so many other diabetics, and that I was already quite active, so I didn't have to start an exercise habit that was brand new. And, too, I was already used to daily therapy regimines; so adding a little more wasn't too burdensome. I basically just had to start counting carbs, checking blood sugar, injecting insulin, and avoiding mega-doses of sugar.

The only real qualitative change this has made in my life is that now Aisle 13 is a no-go zone, and except for relationship or religious reasons, Halloween, Easter, and Valentine's are non-participatory holidays - just meaningless squares on the calendar, now. Feels a little bit like Lent all the time.

Aside from that, I'm not avoiding sugary foods - I'm dosing enough insulin to control my blood glucose. This is more or less successful, depending on what foods, and how much exercise I'm also getting.

I find it interesting that a year ago I wrote:
This is killing me. It's just fucking killing me. I feel like I'm on a carnival ride and about to puke and all I can do is ride it out, because I have no control over the situtation.

I don't feel like that about diabetes anymore. I've been given the tools of control and the basic training. But I do feel like that about this post-tussive syncope. As I remarked to a friend last night at Apple Bar, I'm concerned about this phenomenon because I have zero control over it, other than trying to remember to, what, stand up slowly? Not stand up when coughing? That's not a positive control. And unlike a temporary low or high in BG, which can be felt and treated quickly before things get dangerous, this syncope sneaks up on you and turns you off as with a switch. Then the switch turns back on a little bit later. I'm not thrilled with that.

On the other hand, this latest episode has made me unafraid of transplant surgery and a little less afraid of death. I mean, if I can get hurt like I did and not even remember it or feel it happening, then surgery should be OK - it'll just hurt AFTER. :) As for death...I only hope it is that sudden. It will be very peaceful.


Breathinstephen said...


Wasn't sure what to make of that last paragraph. Did something happen?

Breathinstephen said...

OK..Got the whole story now..

Geeze-Louise. You better start wearing a helmet all the time.
Seriously, I hope you're OK now.

Ive only had one syncopal episode and that was enough thank you. Happened a couple of years ago while I walking on the bridge. Luckily I passed out slowly and didn't get too banged up on the way down.

friend said...